If you read the bios of some pretty successful people, you’ll see why truly effective personal branding during job search can be such a bear. Here’s how it often sounds:

“Bob Smith is the Vice President of Really Important, Co., leading five divisions nationwide.”

“Jennifer is the author of Business Book.”

“Marc holds a Bachelors degree from Columbia and a MBA from Harvard University.”

Ooh, we think. Impressive.

And so as we go out to find our new jobs, oftentimes our resumes start to smack of hyped-up corporate bio.

We list titles, awards, education. In short, it’s all about credentials. “See where I’ve been before? Isn’t it great?”

When what the recruiter is looking for is less where you’ve been and much more what you’ve done, and what you can do for them.

Let’s take an example. Imagine you need a sales pro and you need them to be able to run on their own with little guidance. You get two resumes:

“Terri has sold B2B technology solutions for 10 years.”

or…

“John has delivered 20%+ sales growth for each of the past five years.”

Which would you call?

The fundamental difference here is that Terri’s bio plugs a credential, while John focuses on the reader benefit. John makes his statement about the benefit that his employer received. And if it’s a benefit that the new employer wants, they’ll be interested.

So here are some examples of mini-makeovers to focus on reader benefit in our branding and job search messages:

Before: “Allison has five years experience in insurance brokerage, with three years supervisory experience.”

After: “Allison has successfully landed five new clients in the past two years, doubling her book of business.”

Before: “Jamie is a driven, competent communications professional, with strong skills in direct marketing, writing for web, and multimedia content development.”

After: “Jamie has written, edited and produced print and online campaigns totaling $1 million revenue annually.”

Or…

“Jamie has successfully maintained key client relationships for years through her excellent work and relationship building skills.”

So, look over your branding messages. Are you speaking in credentials? Or are you connecting with what the reader really wants?

Kristi Daeda shows mid- to senior-level professionals how to get better jobs faster. Her blog, Career Adventure, shares advice on job search, management skills, leadership, personal branding and more to help savvy career adventurers make it to the top. She invites you to find new opportunities through her ebook, 51 Places to Find a Job.